In and amongst the sprawling catalogue of wise things said by the famed English writer, Gilbert Keith Chesterton, one of them is sure to resonate with any person who has engaged in a discussion that seemed doomed to fail from the start.

Dubbed the “Prince of Paradox” for his knack of memorable proverbs that could turn concepts inside out and upside down, Mr Chesteron once said: “The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion.” And American journalist, Robert Quillen, went on to say:

“Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument an exchange of ignorance”. And although this critical advice was told over a century ago, you’ll be happy to know that it is very much as useful today as it was back then. When someone is upset, and they try to launch an immature, unmoderated argument your way – and you actually take the bait and succumb to it – it will take you on very much the same path as you agreeing to wrestle a pig in the mud. You will both look incredibly foolish. But perhaps to the pig, this will be par for the course. The pig will feel victorious for managing to succeed in getting you to join it in the sty.

But you are the one who will feel awful because you have the wisdom to know that the sty is the place where the pig feels most at home, and most comfortable, but NOT you. On the other hand, partaking in a civil and sensible discussion with somebody is rarely a loser’s game. The reason being, if there is a problem to be discussed and it is communicated clearly and handled in the right way, then at least if there are further issues to be thrashed out, then those issues will concern the problem itself, and not the way it was delivered. This is the power of effective and consistent forms of conflict resolution.